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Technology and new ideas about sex and gender have dramatically changed the laws of love, from who pays for dinner to how long to wait to call after a date.
“It’s sort of like the Wild West out there,” says Alex Manley, dating and sex editor at Ask
“[But] they’re not a great way to go deep or get to know the person’s personality.” Chris Donahue, a 28-year-old writer from Brooklyn, believes men should still foot the bill, at least on the first date.
“It opens up a kind of flirty dialogue of like, ‘You can pay for the next date,’ ” he says.
Manley is on the same page, but his reasoning is more economical: “Guys still [usually] make more money than women, so they should offer to pay, regardless of whoever asked out whom,” he says.
“There’s a sort of New Age chivalry about that.” Unfortunately, the rule seems even less clear for those in the LGBT community, says Morningside Heights resident and comedian Stephanie Foltz, who is bisexual.
“If you think you know the rules, some new app will come along and reinvent the rule book.” Here’s how to play the game now.
Apps such as Tinder have spoiled us for choice and made it OK to be dating multiple people at once.
And ladies, if your date has shown you the courtesy of a fun night out, regardless of whether you intend to see them or not again, rushing off with barely a thank you shows no style either.
Foltz, 29, says it can be tricky, but that gender norms are still at play.
“I have a more masculine energy, so I usually pay on the first date,” she says.
Manley agrees, noting that in current times, “Someone you met on a dating app might have gone on three more dates by the time you get back to them three days later.” Forget keeping things chaste until you’re several dates in.
A new study found that millennials are 48 percent more likely than those of other generations to have sex before a first date to see if there’s a genuine attraction.